Why I believe

Many years ago I read a book by Bertrand Russell called, "Why I am not a Christian." I found it to be depressing. My recollection of his reasoning is that he doesn't believe because Christians have committed atrocities in the name of faith, because there is no complete proof of God's existence, and because faith prevents us from becoming truly fulfilled, free and happy.

But the good thing about slogging through a book like that is that it gets you thinking! The more I thought about Bertrand Russell's book, the more I disagreed with him.

• Atrocities? Sure, religion was used by evil people to gain power, but the biggest atrocities were committed by ferociously unfaithful people like Stalin, Mao, Attila the Hun. So people can be bad, both Christians and others.
• No proof of God? Sure, but there is lots of evidence. So in the end it all boils down to a personal decision.
• Finally, how could faith block fulfillment? Would you say Mother Teresa or Martin Luther led pointless lives? That they suffered for no reason and died having made no difference?

I choose to believe because it is a good deal. Outsiders look at the faith-driven life and say, "Why give up all the fun stuff? What do you get?" Well, unless you enjoy adultery and murder, you aren't really giving up any fun. What you do avoid is bankruptcy, HIV and addiction. The Christian lifestyle is smart and exciting. Even if you don't think Jesus was God, you've gotta admit he was a pretty smart self-help coach!

I choose to believe because it is a smart choice. Look, I'm a skeptic too. Either God is there or he isn't. If he's there and I brush him off, he's told me the outcome and it ain't pretty. If he isn't there but I devote my life to him, no big loss - since the Christian life is a pretty good one. So I play it smart!

I choose to believe because it makes sense. I'm a big fan of books on history, philosophy and science. (Wynn Anne makes fun of how boring my books are!) But the more I read, the more sure I am that Christian faith is right. Archaeology shows the Biblical stories to be consistent with history. Philosophers have no world view that is as complete as ours. And science keeps on "discovering" things like 'the world began in a flash of light.' That was known thousands of years ago!

I choose to believe because it works. My life is better when I rely on faith to guide choices and to give meaning. Christ tells me to give; when I do, I am rewarded with an irreplacable feeling of joy. Christ tells me to love; when I do, I am loved back. I am richer for my faith.

When I act faithfully, God makes himself visible. I try to think, speak and act faithfully. I'm not very good at it, but I keep trying. And every time I go out on a limb in faith, even if I am disappointed with the outcome, I come away with renewed, stronger faith. At those times, God is very real. I've been at it for 35 years, and I don't intend to quit.

How about you?

How do I know which religion is right?

Some of you may be atheists. If you're sure that there is no god and that religion is stupid or insidious, you can ignore this post. This column is for those of you are agnostics, and who are confused, overwhelmed or undecided about all the religions out there. What I hope to help you answer is the question, "How do I know which religion is right?"

If you are looking for a pat answer, I have bad news: faith is a lifelong journey, not a destination.

I can't tell you the answer, even if I think I have it. Why not? Because you need to make the choice. Nobody can or should tell you how to find your maker or how to become one with the universe. You have free will, and you need to exercise it.

Don't check your brains at the door. As well as free will, you have intelligence. You'll need to be sure that whatever you decide to adopt as a world-view does not betray all the other aspects of your person. So if an idea seems stupid or flaky or inconsistent, dump it! If it were really true then it wouldn't be inconsistent with your experience and the things you know to be true. In fact, use the same method you use to validate other facets of your life. And whatever you choose, keep testing and questioning and refining. Faith is living.

Life is subjective. Don't pretend that you can come up with an objective answer. Can you objectively find love or happiness? Of course not. So, use everything you have seen, felt, and sensed in your faith journey. If you felt serene at some point in your life, was there a hidden message there? Have you ever felt your prayers were answered? Then that is a clue. Listen to your heart.

If the meaning of life were evident or easily found, we'd all have it spelled out to us. But it is indeed mysterious and you need to work at it. After forty years, I have many answers, but even more unanswered questions. Read about others' solutions, find out about existing religions and philosophies, think, meditate and pray. If you ignore the question, you won't get very far!

May you be blessed in your quest.