I am a Christian, but I am open to the possibility that God does not exist. This is not at all a paradox: I find that doubt and belief go hand-in-hand:
- Intellectually, I have not seen a good proof of God's existence. Ergo doubt. But at the same time, I find the Christian story to be both credible and compelling. It answers deep philosophical questions within me.
- Emotionally, I find the prospect of a morally relative world filled with selfish beasts to be horrifying. I am appalled by injustice. I am troubled by my own inadequacy and mortality. I find the Christian story of justice, mercy and love more than just comforting, I find it joyful.
- Volitionally, I have decided to walk with Jesus. I have decided to try to do his will, even when I doubt, or am sad, or am angry. I pray to him, I read his words, I commune with his people. And in return for my decision, he has blessed me with assurance and joy.
So I am not 100% sure that God exists, but I have found that he rewards my obedience and search for him. I have found this verse to be true:
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
- Jeremiah 29:13
